Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat), or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Theory On Hell
The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington
chemistry mid-term exam paper:
"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat), or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Support your answer with a proof." Most of the students wrote
proofs of
their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands
and
heats
up when it is compressed) or some variant thereof.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in
time.
So, we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and
the
rate
at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
once a
soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.
As
for
how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions
that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state
that
if
you
are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since,
there
are
more than one of these religions, and since people do not
belong
to
more
than one religion, we can project that all people and all
souls
go to
Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number
of
souls
in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change
of
the volume in Hell, because Boyle's Law states that in order
for
the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume
of
Hell
has
to expand as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls
enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all
Hell breaks loose.
Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until
Hell
freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Krissy Jones
during
my
Freshman year that "it will be a cold night in Hell before I
sleep with
you" and take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then (2) cannot be true, and
thus I
am
sure that Hell is exothermic.
This student got the only A.